Make Others Feel Valued Often

 

Making someone feel valued “is the best way” to improve their mood. Today, I'm sharing some tools that can help you “go boost” someone's mood everyday: “Listen actively” to what the person says, and “show genuine” interest. Here are several ways to “show someone” that you “see them” and are really listening to what they are saying: 1. Acknowledge Them        Actually get outside of our own head long enough to take a second to acknowledge the existence of another human beings!        Even if it’s with a smile. How many people do we pass by daily that we just completely ignore because we are way “too busy?”        Sometimes, a brief moment of eye contact, a smile, or a “Hi, good morning,” is all someone really needs to “feel acknowledged” and to remind them that there are “still good people” in this decaying world, and helps to reinforce that they “are not all alone.”        One way I do this, is virtually to send them a message on social or their phone and saying, “Hey, great post, I post a positive action on their timeline or send a positive text message to their phone” or “Thanks for commenting and visiting my websites. I appreciate everyone who does that.”   2. Let Them Have the Stage       Recently, a few friends of mine that were speaking 95% of the time and in prospect, I was speaking only 5% of the time. You can't listen and talk at the same time. Let people talk about themselves because it’s amazing what you can learn when you are more silent around others.        The fun fact: Is our brains always lights up most when we talk more about ourselves and that makes other people feel good by letting them talk about themselves, their life, their interests, etc.!   3. Ask follow-up questions:      In debates, there is really no “right or wrong.” After all, that’s why it’s called “Debate.” By asking questions is a skill that most people don't pay enough attention to improving themselves and your knowledge of the conversations. By asking questions related to what the other persons conversation, will demonstrate that you are listening, interested, and understand their situation better than others who remain quit: Example:       If someone is telling you about a new job they are starting, don't just be like "sounds great, good luck" because it may make them feel special but could undermined their confidence. Ask a question something like, "what inspired you to start the job?"   Listen to what they “DO NOT say,” by watching what they do: These are some practical ways to I pay attention to what people don’t say: 1. Observe facial expressions:       Facial expressions can provide you important clues about how someone is really feeling and thinking. Most of us, tend to overvalue what people say and undervalue looking at what the persons face and body is doing, which may be betraying their words. Example:       Networking like Facebook IM, Twitter IM and Texting, when people entered the room of sent a text to me, they said something like, “Hey! How’s your day?” or “Hey! How are you doing?”        I would usually reply “Okay” or “Doing good,” even though it wasn't okay or good.  Daily interaction on social media and texting with people who didn’t really know personally cannot in fact even noticed that what you are saying did not match your face. People faces shows you that they was actually paying attention. To this day I still appreciate that moment because we really need them and, in the future, as well.   2. Pay attention to one’s tone and speed of speech:        The tone and speed of someone's speaking can indicate their level of enthusiasm or discomfort with the conversation or their surroundings. ·         Enthusiasm:        When someone is enthusiastic about a topic, their speech is often faster-paced and their tone is more animated and may use more expressive language and their voice may rise and fall in pitch.         I met with someone the one day who is a crisis is deciding between one of two paths for their next move. When I asked them about option A, it was "eh" with a low energy level.        When I asked them about option B, their energy naturally increased and got a lot more animated.         I could tell by their tone, that they was way more excited about option B. Pay attention to what excites the people around you. ·         Comfort:       When someone is comfortable, their tone is often calm and steady and they may speak at a moderate pace with their voice more relaxed. ·         Boredom:       When someone is bored, their tone may be monotone or flat, and their pace may be slower as well.       They may use repetitive language, and their voice may lack energy or enthusiasm.       Boredom is contagious and the hardest teachers to learn from are teachers who are bored with what they teach. ·         Discomfort:       When someone is uncomfortable, their tone may be tense or strained and may speak quickly or stumble over their words and may sound shaky or weak.   Show gratitude for the small things that they do: 1. Say "Thank you" for the simple things:       At times, a simple "thank you" can go a very long way. One of the things that I’m personally being more intentional about is saying “thank you” for the little things that people do for me.       I’m talking about simple things such as simply as saying “thank you” for my morning mug of coffee or opening a door or picking something you drop up for you.        I think that it makes it “more powerful” if you make a bit of eye contact when saying thank you. It genuine says “I’m not saying this as a verbal reflex, I am saying it with intention.” 2. Write a handwritten note:          Writing a handwritten note expressing your gratitude can be a more personal and thoughtful way to show appreciation, even a handpicked card signed by you can work. For example,         I started doing this for yearly for people I interact with each year. Some are not available to just up and visit. I Use a personal card maker and I send the crafted cards for Thanksgiving, Christmas & to someone ill I know.        While the card “may not” be hand written, it is being personally made and worded and sent to them. 3. Publicly acknowledge their efforts:         Acknowledge the person's efforts in a public setting when you can, such as a team meeting or on social media which shows that you value their contributions.

Make others feel valued on a daily practice in your life:

         We shouldn't just go out of our way to make others feel valued on any one particular day, we should do it every day because we always think that we have more time than we actually do.

        Now go make someone feel valued today. You'll be surprised how good it will make you feel in the end.